An example written by Academy11+
The Fog
About 510 words in the continuation. Numbers link to the notes.
The opening given in the task (not part of the answer)
The fog rolled in just after the last bell. By the time Arjun reached the old footbridge, he could barely see the other side of the river. That was when he heard it: a small, desperate whimper coming from somewhere below.
The continuation
Arjun froze1, one hand on the cold, damp railing. The whimper came again, thinner this time, followed by a splash. He leaned over the edge and squinted into the grey. At first he could see nothing but swirling mist. Then, through a gap in the fog2, he caught a glimpse of something brown and shivering on a narrow ledge just above the water.
It was a puppy: a soaking wet, terrified puppy, no bigger than a loaf of bread3, clinging to a tangle of tree roots while the river rushed past beneath it.
'Hold on,' Arjun whispered, even though he knew it couldn't understand him. His heart was hammering. The river was high after a week of rain, and its brown water churned and gurgled like something alive4. Mum's voice echoed in his head: never, ever go near the river on your own5.
He pulled out his phone. One bar of signal flickered, then disappeared.6 There was no time to run for help. The ledge was crumbling; every few seconds another clump of mud slid into the water with a plop.
Arjun made his decision. Leaving his school bag on the bridge, he scrambled down the steep bank, grabbing at tufts of grass to stop himself from falling. Brambles snatched at his blazer.7 His shoes sank into the sticky mud with a squelch. Halfway down, his foot slipped and he slid, heart in his mouth, until his shoes thudded against a rock.
He was close now, close enough to see the puppy's wide, frightened eyes. Lying flat on his stomach, Arjun stretched out his arm as far as it would go. His fingertips brushed wet fur. Just a little further…8 The root under the puppy gave a loud crack. With one desperate lunge, Arjun grabbed its collar and pulled it into his arms just as the ledge collapsed into the river.
For a long moment, he simply lay there in the mud, breathing hard, while the puppy licked his chin as though nothing had happened9. A small silver tag on its collar, shaped like a bone, read: BISCUIT.
Climbing back up was harder with a wriggling puppy tucked inside his blazer, but at last Arjun hauled himself over the top. Out of the fog came a voice, high and frantic: 'Biscuit! Biscuit, where are you?'10 A girl in a red raincoat came running across the bridge. When she saw the little brown head poking out of Arjun's blazer, she burst into tears.
Arjun did get into trouble that evening. Mum went quiet in the way that was much worse than shouting11, and his blazer had to go to the dry cleaner's. But the next morning, a card was waiting on the doormat. On the front was a drawing of a small brown dog with a very big smile. Inside, in wobbly felt-tip, it said: Thank you for saving me. Love from Biscuit.
Arjun propped it up on his windowsill. The fog had finally lifted, and the river below looked calm and ordinary again, as if it was keeping a secret12.