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Creative Writing · Guide 9 of 10

Formal or persuasive letter

Writing to a head teacher, a council or a company? Be polite, be clear about what you want, and back it up with good reasons, in the correct formal layout.

  • Ages 9 to 11
  • 11+ writing: Formal letter
  • Model answer
  • Printable plan

What is it?

In this task you write a letter to someone you don't know personally, usually to persuade them to do something (build a skate park, ban plastic bottles at school), to complain, or to make a request.

Formal letters have a fixed layout and a polite, serious tone. A persuasive letter adds a clear point of view, strong reasons with evidence, and a direct request at the end.

How the task might be worded

  • “Write a letter to your head teacher persuading them to make a change at your school.”
  • “Write to the local council to persuade them to save a local park from being built on.”

What examiners look for

  • Formal layout

    Your address and the date top right, the recipient's name or title, “Dear Sir or Madam” or “Dear Mrs Shah”, and the right sign-off.

  • A clear purpose

    The first paragraph says who you are and why you're writing.

  • Reasons with evidence

    Two or three strong points, each in its own paragraph, backed up with facts, examples or what experts say.

  • Persuasive techniques

    Rhetorical questions, the rule of three, emotive language and answering the other side, used with care.

  • A polite, formal tone

    No contractions or slang. Firm but respectful, even when complaining.

Plan template

Spend about 5 minutes planning. Notes and single words are fine: nobody marks the plan. Print this page to plan on paper.

  1. Who, what, why?

    • • Who am I writing to?
    • • What do I want them to do?

  2. Opening paragraph

    • • Who I am.
    • • Why I'm writing, in one sentence.

  3. Reasons

    • • Reason 1 + evidence.
    • • Reason 2 + evidence.
    • • Reason 3 + evidence.

  4. The other side

    • • What might they object to?
    • • How can I answer that?

  5. Closing

    • • Repeat the request politely.
    • • Thank them.
    • • Correct sign-off.

Model answer

The task: Write a letter to your head teacher persuading them to start a school vegetable garden.

Year 6, Brookfield Primary School Brookfield Road, Leeds 12th April

Mr Davies Head Teacher Brookfield Primary School

Dear Mr Davies,

I am writing on behalf of the School Council to ask you to consider turning the unused grass area behind the Year 3 classrooms into a school vegetable garden.

Firstly, a garden would help us learn. In science we study how plants grow, but most of us have never grown anything ourselves. Watching seeds sprout, measuring their growth and recording the results would bring our lessons to life, and the results could even be used in maths.

Secondly, a garden would be good for our health. Children who grow vegetables are often more willing to try them. Imagine pupils proudly eating tomatoes and peas they have grown with their own hands. Surely that is better than leaving the grass empty?

Some people may worry about the cost or who would look after the garden in the holidays. However, our School Council has already found a local garden centre willing to donate seeds and tools, and twelve families have offered to water the beds over the summer.

Finally, a garden would bring the whole school together. Every class could have its own bed, older pupils could help younger ones, and we could sell our produce at the summer fair to raise money for the school.

A vegetable garden would be educational, healthy and fun. I would be very grateful if you would discuss the idea with the School Council at our next meeting. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Yours sincerely, Aisha Rahman School Council Representative

Checklist

Use it in the last five minutes, or to check a practice piece.

  • My address and the date are at the top right.
  • I used “Dear Sir or Madam” with “Yours faithfully”, or a name with “Yours sincerely”.
  • My first paragraph says who I am and why I'm writing.
  • I gave at least two reasons, each with evidence, in separate paragraphs.
  • I answered a possible objection.
  • My last paragraph repeats my request politely and thanks the reader.
  • I didn't use contractions or slang.

Common mistakes

  • Mixing up sign-offs

    “Dear Sir or Madam” goes with “Yours faithfully”. “Dear Mrs Shah” goes with “Yours sincerely”.

  • Being rude

    “Your park is rubbish and you should be ashamed” won't persuade anyone. Stay polite, even when you're cross.

  • Reasons without evidence

    “It would be good” is weak. Say why, with a fact, an example or a number.

  • Chatty language

    “Hiya, hope you're OK!” belongs in a letter to a friend, not to the council.

Top tips

  • Use formal connectives: firstly, furthermore, in addition, however, therefore.
  • Make your strongest point first or last, where the reader remembers it.
  • “You” language persuades: “Imagine how proud you would feel…”
  • Keep your tone confident: “I am sure” is stronger than “I think maybe”.

Practice prompts

Practise this with a free account

4 practice questions on this topic, from easy to 11+ level. Reading the guide is free for everyone; practice is for members, and signing up is free.

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