Tension is the feeling that something is about to go wrong. Suspense is the reader wanting to know what will happen, and being slightly afraid to find out. Both keep a reader turning the page.
Lots of 11+ titles lend themselves to tension: "The Storm", "Lost", "The Noise in the Night", "The Race". Even a calm title can have a tense moment at the climax of the story.
Why it matters in the 11+
Tension gives a story shape. Without it, events just happen one after another. With it, the story builds to a climax, which is exactly what markers hope to see in a well-structured narrative.
Building suspense also shows control of sentence length, pace and vocabulary, which are skills that many marking guides reward.
How to do it, step by step
Slow the important moment down
Stretch out the seconds before something happens. Describe each step, each sound, each breath. A moment that lasts three seconds in real life can take a paragraph.
Use short sentences
Short sentences feel like a racing heartbeat. Mix in a fragment or two: "Silence. Then a click."
Hide the threat
What the reader can't see is scarier than what they can. Describe a shadow, a sound, a smell, not the monster in full.
Use the senses, especially sound
Creaks, drips, footsteps and sudden silences all make readers uneasy.
Add a ticking clock
Give the character a time limit: the tide is coming in, the bell will ring in two minutes, the torch battery is fading.
Let things get worse before they get better
Just as the character thinks they're safe, add one more problem.
Before and after examples
Each example starts with a plain sentence, then shows how the technique improves it.
Before
I opened the door and there was a fox in the shed.
After
I reached for the handle. The metal was cold. Slowly, slowly, I pulled, and the hinges gave a long, thin squeal. Something in the darkness moved.
Why it works: The same event, but stretched out with small steps and a sound, so the reader holds their breath.
Before
I heard footsteps on the stairs and I was frightened because nobody else was meant to be home.
After
Footsteps. On the stairs. But nobody else was home.
Why it works: Breaking one long sentence into fragments speeds up the reader's heartbeat.
Before
A huge monster with green scales and red eyes came out of the cave.
After
From deep inside the cave came a slow scraping, like claws dragged across stone. Then the scraping stopped.
Why it works: We never see the creature. The reader's imagination does the scary work.
Before
We had to get back across the beach.
After
The waves had already swallowed the first rock. By the time we reached the second, cold water was swirling round our ankles.
Why it works: The rising tide makes every second count.
Common mistakes and how to fix them
Mistake: Rushing the scary moment in one sentence.
Fix: Slow it down: describe each small step.
Mistake: Every sentence short, all the way through.
Fix: Short sentences work because they contrast with longer ones. Save them for the tensest moments.
Mistake: Overusing "suddenly".
Fix: Let a short sentence or a sudden sound do the job instead.
Mistake: Revealing everything at once.
Fix: Give the reader clues bit by bit and save the reveal for the climax.
Try it
About 15 minutesWrite one tense paragraph: "You are home alone. The power has just gone off, and you hear the back gate creak open."
- Slow the moment down with small actions.
- Use at least one sound and one other sense.
- Use two or three very short sentences at the tensest point.
- Don't reveal who opened the gate.
Finished? Read it aloud: if a sentence sounds flat, try it again. When you're ready to write a whole story, pick a title from the free story prompts.