A story mountain is a simple plan for a story. You climb up through the opening and build-up, reach the top at the problem (the most exciting moment), then come down through the resolution to the ending.
Paragraphs are the steps on the mountain. Each new paragraph tells the reader something has changed: a new time, a new place, a new person speaking, or a new event.
Why it matters in the 11+
Clear organisation is something nearly every writing marker looks at. A story with a clear shape and well-used paragraphs is easier to follow and shows the writer has planned.
Planning also protects against the two biggest time problems: a story that never gets going, and a story with no ending because time ran out.
How to do it, step by step
Spend about five minutes planning
Sketch a quick mountain or write five bullet points. A few words for each part is enough.
Opening
Introduce the main character and setting, and hook the reader. One paragraph.
Build-up
Something starts to happen. Hint that trouble is coming and build a little tension. One or two paragraphs.
Problem (the climax)
The most exciting or difficult moment. Slow it down and use your best writing here. One or two paragraphs.
Resolution
The character deals with the problem, ideally through their own actions. One paragraph.
Ending
Tie things up and show what has changed. One short paragraph.
Use TiPToP for new paragraphs
Start a new paragraph when the TIme, Place, TOpic or Person changes, and every time a new person speaks.
Before and after examples
Each example starts with a plain sentence, then shows how the technique improves it.
Before
Plan: Going to the bridge. Something happens. The end.
After
Opening: Noor and her little brother at the rope bridge on a windy walk. Build-up: Brother runs ahead; a plank cracks. Problem: He's stuck halfway, bridge swaying, rain starting. Resolution: Noor talks him back step by step, hiding her own fear. Ending: Back at the car, he says she's the bravest person he knows; she's still shaking.
Why it works: Each line is a paragraph waiting to be written, and the ending is decided before starting.
Before
We waited for ages and it got dark and then the next morning the boat arrived.
After
We waited until the last light faded from the sky. By the next morning, the boat had arrived.
Why it works: A new paragraph and a time opener show the jump forward clearly.
Before
The bridge was swaying. Noor went to get her brother.
After
The bridge swayed like a hammock in a gale. Noor didn't want to step onto it. But someone had to.
Why it works: A new paragraph at a turning point, opened with a short sentence that links back.
Paragraph openers that move the story on
- Time: Moments later… / By midnight… / The next morning…
- Place: Back at the house… / On the other side of the wall…
- Contrast: But… / However… / Meanwhile…
- Surprise: Without warning… / That was when…
- Ending: Finally… / From that day on… / Even now…
Common mistakes and how to fix them
Mistake: No plan, so the story wanders and has no ending.
Fix: Always spend a few minutes planning the five parts, especially the ending.
Mistake: One huge paragraph for the whole story.
Fix: Use TiPToP: new time, place, topic or person means a new paragraph.
Mistake: A long opening and a rushed climax.
Fix: The problem is the most important part. Give it the most space and your best writing.
Mistake: Too many events, so nothing is developed.
Fix: One main problem is enough for an 11+ story.
Try it
About 15 minutesPlan a story called "The Wrong Bag" using the story mountain. Write one line for each of the five parts.
- Decide the ending before you finish the plan.
- Put a star next to the climax: this is where your best writing goes.
- Write just the climax paragraph in full.
- Check where you would start new paragraphs using TiPToP.
Finished? Read it aloud: if a sentence sounds flat, try it again. When you're ready to write a whole story, pick a title from the free story prompts.