Similes, metaphors and personification are kinds of figurative language: ways of describing something by comparing it with something else. They help the reader picture a scene quickly and in a new way.
A simile says one thing is like another, using "like" or "as": "The fog was like wet wool." A metaphor says one thing is another: "The fog was a wet grey blanket." Personification gives human actions or feelings to something that isn't human: "The fog crept along the lane."
Why it matters in the 11+
Figurative language is one of the clearest signs of ambitious, imaginative writing, and it's something many markers look out for. A single fresh image can lift a whole paragraph.
But quality matters more than quantity. Three original images in a story are worth far more than ten tired ones like "as cold as ice" or "as quiet as a mouse".
How to do it, step by step
Pick what to describe
Choose something important: the setting at the start, a character's first appearance, or the scariest moment.
Think about the feeling
Do you want it to feel calm, creepy, exciting or sad? The comparison should match that mood.
Brainstorm comparisons
List three or four things your object could be like. The first idea is often a cliché; the third or fourth is usually fresher.
Check it makes sense
The reader must be able to picture it. "The moon was like a sandwich" is original but confusing.
Try personification with verbs
The easiest personification is a human verb: the wind whispered, the door groaned, the waves clawed at the sand.
Before and after examples
Each example starts with a plain sentence, then shows how the technique improves it.
Before
The sea was as blue as the sky.
After
The sea was like crumpled tin foil, flashing every time the sun came out.
Why it works: A surprising but clear comparison, and it adds movement and light.
Before
The playground was very noisy.
After
The playground was a beehive at break time, buzzing, swarming and impossible to cross.
Why it works: The metaphor is extended with verbs that fit bees, so the picture holds together.
Before
The old house was creepy.
After
The old house watched us from behind its broken windows, and the front door sighed open before we touched it.
Why it works: Giving the house eyes and breath makes it feel alive and threatening.
Before
He was as fast as lightning.
After
He shot past the defenders like a skimming stone across a pond.
Why it works: A fresh image the reader hasn't heard a hundred times.
Personification verbs to borrow
- Wind: whispered, howled, tugged, moaned, snatched
- Rain: drummed, tapped, wept, hammered
- Trees: shivered, reached, bowed, clawed
- Buildings and doors: groaned, watched, swallowed, loomed
- Fire: danced, licked, crackled, devoured
- Sea: crashed, swallowed, sighed, gnawed
Common mistakes and how to fix them
Mistake: Cramming a simile into every sentence.
Fix: Use two or three strong images in a story and place them where they matter most.
Mistake: Clichés: as white as snow, as busy as a bee, as cold as ice.
Fix: Brainstorm until you find a comparison you haven't heard before.
Mistake: Comparisons that don't fit the mood (a terrifying monster "like a fluffy cloud").
Fix: Ask whether the image creates the feeling you want.
Mistake: Mixed metaphors: "The fog was a blanket that roared like a lion."
Fix: Stick with one comparison at a time.
Try it
About 15 minutesWrite one simile, one metaphor and one piece of personification for each of these: a thunderstorm, an empty classroom at night, a busy market.
- Write your first idea, then cross it out and write a fresher one.
- Check each image matches the mood you want.
- Choose your best three and use them in a short paragraph.
Finished? Read it aloud: if a sentence sounds flat, try it again. When you're ready to write a whole story, pick a title from the free story prompts.