11+ Creative writing · Topic explained
Show, don't tell
Why is "She was scared" a little bit boring?
The big idea
Don't name the feeling: show it through actions, body language and senses.
Picture it
Like a mime artist: no words, yet you know exactly how they feel.
Key words
- Tell
- Naming a feeling straight out: "He was angry."
- Show
- Giving clues so the reader works out the feeling.
- Body language
- What faces, hands and bodies do.
Worked examples
- 1Warm-up
Tell: "Max was happy." Show: "Max punched the air and whooped."
- The action shows the happiness.
- 211+ standard
Tell: "The old man was lonely." Show: "Every evening, the old man set two cups on the table, then slowly put one back."
- A small, specific action says more than the word lonely.
- 311+ standard
Tell: "It was cold." Show: "Frost crunched under our boots and our breath hung in clouds."
- You can show weather and places too, using the senses.
- 411+ standard
Tell: "Lily was nervous before her piano exam." Show: "Lily's fingers drummed on her knee. She read the first line of music five times, and not one note stayed in her head."
- Body language plus thoughts: the reader feels the nerves.
The common mistake
The mistake
You must never tell anything at all.
Instead
Show the important moments; a quick tell is fine for small things or to move time on.
Why: Showing everything makes a story slow. Save it for the moments that matter most.
Where it comes up in the 11+
Independent-school story tasks reward writing that shows characters' feelings.
The video
Video coming soon
We're making a short video that explains show, don't tell step by step. Until then, everything it covers is on this page.
Free printable
Show, don't tell worksheet
Practice questions on this topic to print and try on paper, at home or on the way to school.
Download the worksheet (PDF)Free account needed: it takes a minute.
Quick quiz
Have a go first, then tap to see the answer.
1. Which sentence SHOWS anger?
- Ravi was angry.
- Ravi slammed his book shut and glared.
- Ravi felt very cross.
- Ravi was in a bad mood.
Show the answerHide the answer
Ravi slammed his book shut and glared.
The actions let us work out the anger ourselves.
2. "Ellie's knees shook as she stepped onto the stage." Which feeling is shown?
- Nervousness
- Boredom
- Anger
- Hunger
Show the answerHide the answer
Nervousness
Shaking knees on a stage suggest nerves.
3. When is a quick "tell" fine?
- For small details or moving time on
- Never
- For the most exciting moment
- In every sentence
Show the answerHide the answer
For small details or moving time on
Telling keeps the story moving; show the big moments.